“Pornography is integral to gay male culture: obsessively consumed and almost never discussed, it is the shameful step-child of desire and the imagination. Don Shewey’s “The Paradox of Porn” is a smart, acutely observed, and beautifully argued analysis of what gay porn means to gay men, and, by extension, the state of sexual culture in America today. Moving between the lived experience of experiencing porn and what that experience means psychologically, aesthetically, ethically, and socially Shewey excites the reader to think about porn – and culture – in new ways. Most gay men, most people, assume they know what they think about porn; this book will bring them to new frontiers of thought. “The Paradox of Porn” is the best book about pornography, the lives and imaginations of gay men, and state of erotic gay culture written to date.” –Michael Bronski, author of A Queer History of the United States
“Don Shewey’s book is wise, informed, and fearless. The Paradox of Porn busts through several closet doors and explodes taboos. A rich and rewarding read.” –Jay Michaelson, author of God vs. Gay? The Religious Case for Equality
“Frank, smart, and unafraid. Definitely a welcome addition to the conversation gay men should be having.” –Wayne Hoffman, author of Hard, Sweet Like Sugar, and An Older Man
“Sane, helpful, and fascinating.” – Andrew Holleran, author of Dancer from the Dance
“I just finished The Paradox of Porn, Don Shewey’s deep dive into all the ways that gay men use and abuse porn. From porn theaters to muscle mags to the modern internet and hookup apps, the torrent and availability of male sexual images both aid in the exploration of gay sexuality and create false ideals of what real sex, real bodies, real cocks, real erections, and real intimacy should be. Shewey, a sex therapist, draws from client cases to illustrate how porn can damage relationships and alienate men from themselves and their partners. The book is also a celebration of porn, of its comforts and amorality and freedom. I found myself reflecting deeply about my own porn consumption while reading this, and have amended my habits, being more aware of the ways that I not only use porn, but my own body, as a disposable entertainment. The Paradox of Porn is a deeply felt, well researched, and personal investigation. I highly recommend this book.” — Philip May Huang on Goodreads
“What is the paradox of porn according to Don Shewey? Porn fosters erotic embodiment and sexual well-being in many, especially gay men. Porn is also a troublesome and even harmful medium for others, including some gay men. His book is full of wisdom for porn lovers on how to enhance sexual health and avoid harm while masturbating to porn. As a somatic sex therapist and sex educator, Shewey offers us case studies from his thirty years of working with gay men. The book ends with his own research on the negative and positive impacts of porn watching. He introduces his research by saying, “Probably the most significant finding from this study was that the different positive effects outnumbered the negative effects about 2 to 1.” I have a Ph.D. in human sexuality. One of my joys in life is teaching men and women healthy ways to enjoy porn. I have been waiting to read an insightful text like this for many years.” –Joseph Kramer, founder of the Body Electric School and the New School of Erotic Touch